middle name

By Evelyn Pak

~2002~

On a warm day in June, 

Everyone sits huddled around the hospital bed.  

My grandpa brings out of his pocket

A small piece of paper smelling faintly of summer.

Written with slow, deliberate strokes:

Clear and bright star. 

“Let’s name her --.”

~2010~

“--! Come outside and play!” 

“--, take some food home with you.”

“--, see you tomorrow!”

Kind voices and guiding hands that call for her.

The world knows her by both names;

There is no separation between who she is

And who I am. 

~2023~

A name now only known by few, almost whispered like an intimate secret. 

A collection of sounds that feel as though it belongs to another.

A moment of unfamiliarity followed by waves of guilt. 

Hidden away behind one single letter,

Buried with those left behind. 

She waves from afar and I watch

Wondering when I’ll see her again.