Time Sense
words by Sarayu Kurra, art by Hannah Nguyen
Time = Distance/Speed.
Time is the division of distance and speed.
The separation of distance and speed creates the result of time.
But is time measured by how far or how fast one goes? I thought it was measured in seconds, minutes, hours, days, and years. How do units like meters per seconds and yards per minute explain the essence of time, not as a measurement, but as an endless wave that chases us beings throughout our lives?
My mom would tell me when I was younger that I had no time sense. That I never knew what to do at a certain moment or how fast I should go with a task. When school started at 7 AM, I could not measure if I could get a quick shower in at 6:50 AM. To me, time was never infinitely continuous, and it could not be measured with me running against it. I flowed along with the current of the wave, instead of running away from it at the seashore. Time would slow down, so that when it turned 6:51 AM, three minutes had passed instead of one, and I could close my eyes as the hot water of the shower would carry me away and I could…
Imagine a world without time.
No expectations to reach a certain distance at a certain speed.
No expectations to reach a certain deadline.
No day and no night.
No time sense.
How do we navigate such a foreign dimension?
In a world without time, would I be able to grow up into the South Asian woman I am now? Would the lessons I have learned through bypassing all those long distances carry through?
In first grade, when I got made fun of for my “funny” name…
Would I have hated or loved my name?
In seventh grade, when I moved schools and had to make new friends
Would I have carried myself higher or shrunk my head lower?
In ninth grade, when I betrayed myself as a unique being…
Would I have accepted myself or continued to reject myself?
In twelfth grade, when I had to say goodbye to all of my dear friends…
Would I have felt sadness or joy?
In my first year of college, when I moved out of my parent’s house…
Would I have felt a sense of captivity or liberation?
Turning points in my life would be straight, and choices would be nonexistent. I would not be able to laugh at my younger self thinking my YouTube channel in fifth grade would go viral and I could meet Justin Bieber. I would not be able to wipe the flow of tears down my face at the sounds of goodbye from my best friend and her family when I had to move away to a different state.
It would be impossible. In a world without time, I could imagine a moment would repeat over and over and over again, as if it was the first time it would have happened in another universe. In a world without time, there would not be a need for navigation and a plan for moving forward, unlike in Groundhog Day, where there were lessons learned and love explored. I would be sitting on my white sofa in my brown house, typing this word, over and over and over again. Infinitely and continuously, and without fail.
