Dinner Date with a Side of Double Standards

words by Anonymous, art by Ananya Sairaman

Two things have consumed the minds of people everywhere this July: The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and Charli XCX. So when I sat across the table on a second date and he mentioned how one of his favorite albums was the electro-pop masterpiece Charli, I was excited. A man of good taste? He described the marketing transformation of the Charli album cover—from the original featuring her nude and serpent-clad, to the grey background with familiar arial text matching her newest album brat—as a “great personal loss” and “taking it too far.” I promptly called him a “hater” to which he replied that he was an “equal opportunity hater.”

Minutes later, we happened upon the new Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (DCC) show as a topic of conversation (their thunderstruck routine was playing on repeat in my brain). As someone who grew up in Maryland, raised by parents from India, becoming a DCC was a goal I didn’t quite understand or share with the millions of women across America aspiring to join the team. 

But after watching the Netflix series, I understood. 

“I sat there, staring at him across my bowl of pho, perplexed by his adoration of Charli and his disgust for the cheerleaders. Why was one of them respectable and the other deplorable?”

These girls were REMARKABLE, living an entire life in their 9 to 5 jobs before transforming into an athlete, a public figure, a role model and real model—aptly described as “superheroes” throughout the show. The Netflix docuseries, America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, detailed the grueling process of auditions, strenuous practices, and perfect performances which required a level of dedication incomprehensible to an average, unknowing audience member. They worked as both athletes and artists, bringing joy and excitement to thousands of Dallas Cowboys fans both on and off the field. 

I was in awe. 

He was unimpressed. 

He rambled for a little about their “uniforms” (he actually used air-quotes, can you believe it), how their athleticism could better be applied to other more valid sports, and how, at the end of the day, they were “brainwashed” and existed as a sideshow for men. His overwhelming sentiment broke down to this: “Who are they even for?!” 

I sat there, staring at him across my bowl of pho, perplexed by his adoration of Charli and his disgust for the cheerleaders. Why was one of them respectable and the other deplorable? Yes, there are obvious differences between the two—the music industry is heavily different from the sport of cheerleading, one involves a team and one has a very individual brand, etc. 

Yet, his perspective seemed inconsistent. 

“He had bound these women in a troubling double standard, where the empowerment of one was seen as authenticity, while the empowerment for another was dismissed as exploitation. ”

He believed that the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, who drew empowerment from their game-time performances and their iconic uniforms, were helpless victims of men’s desires, largely because of their accentuating “outfits.” Even though Charli is also in a position of desire, posing nude on her Charli album, to him, Charli was autonomously executing an artistic vision with grace and agency. He had bound these women in a troubling double standard, where the empowerment of one was seen as authenticity, while the empowerment for another was dismissed as exploitation. 

I, clearly bothered, set down my chopsticks and pushed him (clearly unbothered, chopsticks in hand) trying to understand how he had drawn this conclusion. Between his bites, I was able to decipher three significant arguments. 

Him: “The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders was created as a secondary organization of desirable women for a male-centric event. The women who feel empowered from this work are misled and brainwashed.”

Yes, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders as a business is reprehensible. “America’s Sweethearts” continue to be primarily white and exclusively thin. There is a lot of work to be done in expanding the image of these exceptional women to include ALL women.  It is also true that the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are over-sexualized, and often not given the respect they deserve. 

But rather than acting like the only solution is to scorn at the women who join or dismantle an organization that brings joy to so many, we should implore ourselves to stop over-sexualizing them and start respecting them. If these women are finding joy and empowerment in performing alongside fellow athletes, why can we not give them the respect and empowerment they deserve?

“For women in the industry, the downward spiral from disliking the art to disliking the woman happens so fast we don’t even realize the transition into disrespect. ”

Him again: “Because the DCC do not choose their own uniforms, unlike Charli who chose her own album cover, and because their uniforms highlight bodies, they become ‘for’ the pleasure of those who view them.”

Women are always autonomous beings. The DCC are in control of their decision whether to or not wear the uniform through their decision to try out for the team. Their ability to choose to do what empowers them remains salient no matter what they are or are not wearing! Victimizing them for this decision only furthers the claim that others have on their bodies and their empowerment. All women are “for” themselves. 

Him, again somehow! “Charli XCX’s album was her own album and a woman was front and center of the cover and songs. She could’ve had men produce, be label heads, etc., but it’s her project. She is creating respectable art. The DCC are not the main attraction at a Cowboys football game, and their dancing holds far less integrity and significance”

There is not one type of art or one path of artist that deserves more respect than the other. Too often we let our personal opinions about what we like and dislike influence the respect we give to the artists themselves. For women in the industry, the downward spiral from disliking the art to disliking the woman happens so fast we don’t even realize the transition into disrespect. 

I stared at him across my nearly uneaten bowl in disbelief, filled with the stark awareness that the opinions of my date (whose bowl was nearly empty) were not changing. So I paid my half of the bill and left, eating my leftovers later that night with better company—episode 7 of the Dallas Cowboys docuseries.